Awesome Parenting Moment (or not)

I have always thought of myself as a feminist. And then I became the parent of a girl and I question everything--hair styles, shoes, dresses, books, toys, movies, television, you name it and mostly, myself. I am fortunate to be partnered with a terrific guy who considers himself "the real feminist" in our relationship and genuinely loves having a daughter. He stayed home with her full-time for the first 2.5 years of her life and they have a relationship I envy. They bake, play dollhouse & legos, and then go break up bricks in our yard with a hammer for our ever-evolving brick path.

From a previous post, it is obvious we are struggling with the current princess/fairy (i.e. Disney-constructed narrative) phase of our almost four year-old daughter. Trusted friends tells us their daughters went through the same phase and they all grew up to be amazing individuals. They tell us pink and purple will not always be her favorite colors, she will eventually concede to wearing pants again and even consider having short hair. In an effort to combat the princess-who-has-no-agency syndrome she seems to buy into, we've read graphic novels with strong female characters who are awesome witches and princesses. We recently introduced her to the idea of a warrior princess. I pulled pictures of Xena and we even watched a short video on Youtube. The video was Xena kickin' a little ass and fighting for justice. I was thrilled Xena is built like a real woman--at least not a size 2--and curvy and strong. Her comment? Xena doesn't have pretty clothes like a princess should. Oy. I explained that, depending on the dress, it might not be practical for riding a horse, running or sword fighting. She ceded my point. I did an image search and was able to find a few pictures of Xena decked out but I could tell my daughter was not terribly impressed. Xena was no Cinderella.

Fast forward a few weeks and friends with two boys came over for dinner. My daughter and the eldest boy were 'sword fighting' with wooden spoons and I hear her say, "I am Red Sonja. Red Sonja is a good fighter and if she gets cut, she is tough, so I am her."

Red Sonja? Huh? Then I remembered we had done a double feature of Conan the Barbarian and Red Sonja one evening with friends. Yes, my daughter left her bed--it was a bit of a party after all--and watched perhaps 15 minutes of Red Sonja but it was months ago. And then I felt like the best parent ever. My daughter was finally buying the idea that a princess could be kick-ass and do a little ass kicking. Never mind that I exposed my child to a stupidly violent movie--it was a girl perpetrating the violence. Never mind that I exposed my child to just plain bad cinema. And double never mind that Red Sonja (and Xena for that fact) looks like a Visigoth street walker.

I am oddly proud of her picking Red Sonja as a role model, even if only for a one minute sword fight. More importantly, I want my daughter and other young girls to have warrior princess role models who don't necessarily look like, well....Visigoth street walkers. I would also like something that is certainly more age appropriate.

Suggestions, anyone?